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Families are under tremendous pressure today from many quarters. Because the institution of the home was created by God, we can logically expect Satan to oppose and frustrate its success however he can. Satan is well aware that strong, stable homes are the progenitors of strong, stable children who will leave their home to reproduce the same vital faith in Christ and godly character in which they were trained. Such soldiers of the cross do not just accidentally appear on the scene. They are the normal, expected fruit of godly, well-ordered families where each family member has been obedient to his or her God-given responsibilities.


Bitter Tears


I have met numerous gray-headed folks who have been agonizing over their wayward children. Some have asked prayer for a son who is incarcerated for his crimes, others have children who are on their second, third, or fourth marriage. Most are not a regular part of a fundamental, separatist church. Parents weep bitter tears as they see their rebellious sons and daughters spurn their faith in Christ and accept the shallow, sensual values of the age in which we live. Their agony is exacerbated when grandchildren are born for they know they will be a worse child of hell than their parents as they quickly adopt the hedonistic, rebellious, self-centered lifestyle of their mother and father.


Almost everyone of these broken hearted parents has related to me that they made serious mistakes in parenting and if they had it to do over, they would radically alter how they raised their families.


What Would Be Different?


Recognizing the relatively short time a child is in the home, they would have put stress on teaching obedience, self control, personal responsibility, and character training. They would have taught them to work and would have diligently used the rod and reproof during the whole process of child training. They would have chosen their children's friends and scrupulously kept them away from wrong influences, both in terms of other youngsters and activities. Because they love them, they would have purged their house of every television set. They would have insisted on regular family altar, Bible reading, prayer, and faithful church attendance. They would not have allowed wrong music or clothing, nor would they have allowed their children to participate in other "fads" that were popular.


Because all of the above takes a full time parent, these same grieving parents are often heard to say in their evaluation of what went wrong in their home, ". . . and we would have kept Mom at home."


Single Parent Homes


Because of the tragedy of divorce, multitudes of homes are now single-parent families. Obviously, that parent must work to support her injured little flock and has no choice but to place her children in the care of others while she is away on the job. This frustrating situation defies easy solutions except in those cases where reconciliation is still possible between the estranged parents.


Two Parent Homes


But what of the homes where both parents are still married, but both partners, because of the pressure of installment debt, materialistic lifestyle, "keeping up with the Joneses," and other factors have gone into the labor market. In such cases, the child or children either become "latchkey children" or are placed in the custody and care of a hireling to care for them who in most cases cannot and will not have the dedication to the task of parenting that the child's natural mother would have had.


The Latch-Key Child


Consider the national tragedy and disgrace of the "latch-key child". They come home from school, turn the key in the door and enter into an empty house. Oh, there may be a dog, cat, or parakeet within, but these are pitiful substitutes for a mother greeting her child.


I may be sitting and reading in our living room and hear one of my boys come in the house after a prolonged absence. After a few moments of greeting and conversation with me, what is the first question that little lad will ask? Yes, "where is Mom?"; "where is my mother?"; "I want to see my mother," is the natural cry of any youngster after any absence from home for school, play, etc.


But for millions of forlorn, dejected little hearts, they need not ask that question, because they know Mom is down at the office or factory, sometimes on shifts where interaction between her and her babies is very limited indeed .


Problems Involved In Leaving Home


It is not accidental or coincidental that a godly woman is "chaste" (Titus 2:5). Look at the next item she is to be taught by a godly older woman, to be a "keeper at home" (Titus 2:5). Leaving the relative security and safety of a home exposes a woman to all manner of temptations, hurtful lusts and snares in the office, plant, factory, or other work place. Many married women have had their heads and hearts turned by the deceitful flatteries of an adulterous man in her work situation. As she compares her husband to the attractive and sensitive man who keeps calling attention to her on the job, her loyalties and marriage vows are put under stress, and many married women succumb to adultery in their hearts or in actual deed.


Tension is Produced


A woman cast into a breadwinning role also is under temptation to exercise the prerogatives of being a provider; making decisions and taking leadership in the home. Whereas God intended for a wife to be dependent on her husband for provision of the family's needs, many modern women have no such dependence. Many earn as much or even more than their husbands. Those situations again place stress on marriages and culminate in conflict over how family resources are to be spent, decision making, and leadership.


Frustrations of the Working Mother


Because most women have a natural "nesting" drive deep within their breast, being in the work place is a constant source of frustration for her. She knows her children need their mother fulltime. She knows she cannot do justice to a marriage, house and children as a homemaker and to a job at the same time. How can she clean and make her house beautiful when she is too tired to do these things after her 40 hours a week in the work place? How can she effectively kiss away little tears, care for a fevered brow, bandage a scraped knee, give spiritual counsel, character training, and consistent, timely discipline when she only sees her children in small segments of time allowed by her job? How can she cook, sew, clean, and plan for her family when she is down at the office and caught in rush hour traffic? How can she properly respond to her husband and meet his needs when she is overly tired, tense, frustrated over her situation and even resentful?


The Demands of a Homemaker


When Paul wrote the phrase "keeper at home" in Titus 2:5, it came from two words: "home" and "work." The godly woman is not only home where she belongs and desires to be, she is working! She is not stretched out on the sofa watching soaps and popping chocolates into her mouth. There will not be cobwebs in her house that are lifethreatening, dust balls as big as rodents, green hairy stuff growing in her refrigerator, or piles of unwashed clothing, dishes, and unmended clothes like Mt. Everest! Being a wife, mother, and homemaker is a fulltime, creative, demanding, fulfilling and tiring job.


Count the Cost!


Mom, what have you gained even if you obtain nice clothes, an expensive car, beautiful house, material possessions, prestige, notoriety, and even authority on the job while your children are strangers to you? How can you enjoy the "good life" when your presence at home would have prevented all the wrong friends your children now refuse to relinquish? How can you have peace within when a mother's supervision would have prevented experimentation with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and even immorality? Position, authority, salary, fringe benefits and a host of other job-related "blessings" pale in significance if your marriage is in serious trouble and there seem to be barriers between you and your husband because of tight schedules, rare intimate communication, and because your fulfillment has come from outside your home.


Small wonder many children and young people forge such strong loyalties to peers even though they are an adverse influence on them. In the absence of a fulltime mother, a child will naturally seek guidance, companionship and fulfillment from another source. Loyalties that should have been cemented with his parents and family are instead farmed out to evil-charactered peers readily provided by a Satanically dominated world.


Mom, your husband needs you, another woman should not be meeting his needs. Your children need you, not a surrogate hireling. You cannot be replace by another. God has called you to be a "keeper at home", not to stunt your creativity or imprison you in an unfulfilling, demeaning role, but because you have been called to the high and noble office of a homemaker; a responsibility with unmeasureable rewards, heavy demands, great fulfillment, and inestimable blessing for you, your husband, and your children.




by Ronald E Williams, Director
Hephzibah House
508 School St. Winona Lake, IN 46590







Endangered Species: Godly Mothers & Wives


by Dr. Ronald Williams



While her Mother is busily washing dishes and cleaning up from the evening meal, the teenaged daughter in this family hastily retreats to her bedroom. After securing the door to prevent any interruptions, she flops on her bed and quickly absorbs herself in a romance novel she purchased from a nearby Christian bookstore. As she is avidly following the plot of the story, and relishing the romantic encounters of the young heroine, it does not even occur to this young woman that she should be assisting her Mother in the kitchen and helping to lift the load of her tired parents. What is so serious about this dereliction of duty on the part of this young woman? Her loathing of anything related to domestic chores, and avid pursuit of a romantic world that does not exist in reality, is preconditioning her for marriage failure.

Being a fundamental Christian does not shield a believer from marriage failure. We are now informed that Christians have about as many divorces as unregenerate folks (about 50%). All is not well in the American Christian home!

Trouble Brewing

"Women’s Rights" movements may have had their roots in the Abolitionist movement of 1850 - 1860, and even in the godless, egalitarian influence of the French Revolution. The God-given role for women in society began to be considered as "chains" and "shackles" as early as 1905 in America by suffragettes and their sympathizers. The "Roaring Twenties" produced a fuller expression of women’s rights, complete with the shearing of long, glorious locks to "bobbed hair," brazen dress and outlandish behavior.

The Arrival of Rosie the Riveter

Prior to World War II, most American women, despite the inroads of radical feminists, were still wives and mothers at home, and the family was supported by the working Father/husband. With the advent of World War II, there were not only world-wide crises fomented by the conflict, there were also some serious social pathologies set in motion at home, the bitter fruit of which we are reaping today.

With millions of our men in uniform and a military/industrial complex desperate for workers, it was not uncommon for young American women to lay aside their aprons, sewing and home making, etc., in order to do their part for the war effort. "Rosie the Riveter" became a vital part of our country’s military preparedness. However, this experience of dressing, acting and working like a man was not to end with the victory of the Allies over the Axis powers. Many ladies thereafter disdained homemaking, motherhood, femininity and skirts, and vigorously cultivated their new "liberated" role.

Whereas Scripture portrays marriage and motherhood in noble terms (Proverbs 31:10-31), and as a role that is essential for the weal of the home and welfare of children, many modern feminine hearts view this role as demeaning, beneath their dignity and restrictive of their personal freedoms. Fleeing what they perceive as "chains" on their creativity and self-expression, many modern women have avidly sought a "career" to fulfil their dreams and satisfy their needs.

The Happy, Dependent Homemaker

This world, the flesh and Satan wish women to be "independent." However, Scripture mandates that a woman is to be "dependent," first on her father, then on her husband (1 Corinthians 7:25-38; Ephesians 5:22-24). A woman created by God to be home-centered (Titus 2:3-5) is ill-suited for the predatory, Machiavellian, and "dog-eat-dog" business world. It is difficult enough for a man to survive in this hostile, wicked environment. She is far better suited to provide an "Elim in the wilderness" for him, a place of respite and peace called his home, where he will be welcomed with warmth and affection. Here, he can bask in the warm glow of domestic felicity, for which she has been made by God to provide.

Contrary to the politically-correct pundits of this age, Scripture nowhere portrays women as being suited for a battlefield. They do well at bearing and mothering children, but carrying a rifle into combat is contrary to their psyche. Of what value is it for a woman to sublimate her maternal, marital and domestic instincts to be chief executive officer of a Fortune 500 company, the leading scorer in professional basketball, or a "million dollar producer" in real estate while her marriage is in shambles and her children grow like weeds?

Filling a plastic, impressionable teenaged girl’s mind with unending romantic novels does her a disservice. She honestly believes a gallant young man is going to come into her life by serendipity, who will fawn over her, adore her and meet her every whim just for the pleasure of worshiping at her feet. When she finally does marry, she has already made her husband the prisoner of her expectations. What a shocking and cruel blow she receives when she realizes her husband has less than noble motives and has glaring character deficiencies.

Had this young woman experienced a wholesome, loving family with Mom in her proper role as Queen of the home, and Dad as the loving leader, protector, provider, she would have seen the emptiness and farcical unreality of romantic drivel. She also would have developed a desire to be a wife and mother because she constantly worked alongside her mother: cooking, cleaning, baking, caring for children and attending to the innumerable affairs of a busy household.

Godly Training vs. Worldly Influences

Fundamental, Bible believing parents need to take inventory on how we are training our daughters. Of what eternal value is it for a girl to know how to apply layers of paint and grotesque cosmetics so she looks like someone in a French fashion magazine? If we allow her to wear clinging clothing that reveals every contour of her body, then we have taught her 1 Peter 3:3-4 is a lie and that carnal, provocative ways are acceptable. If we allow her to engage in recreational dating, we have undermined her future marriage and encouraged her to make crucial decisions based on feelings, hormones and lusts. If she can "slam dunk" the ball but will put her husband in the emergency room with her cooking, what have we accomplished? If we encourage her to have a "career" and develop an independent spirit, she then may find it difficult to submit to a husband when she makes more money than he does. Or if she finally submits to the sly overtures of the sexual predator in the office, how have we pleased the Lord? If she rejects motherhood, does not care to know about sewing a dress, baking a cake, keeping a house or changing a diaper, our character training and priorities are tragically distorted.

If you are a young woman, please listen to the counsel of one who has worked with troubled teen girls and families for several generations. If you desire a career, then do not marry! Both cannot be successfully done. One or the other will be adversely affected ("No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." Matthew 6:24). A married woman in the labor force has two masters! She is forced to choose and will make the choice Jesus described.

If this developing career woman wants to succeed in her field of endeavor, she dare not displease her master at work, who promises wealth, power, prestige and independence. By way of contrast, her master at home offers the difficult and demanding task of running a household, training up children and loving and serving her husband. This is why many husbands, especially those who seek to retain their God-given place as head of the home, wind up being despised, hated and divorced.

Homemaking is a career, a full-time occupation, and a challenging calling that is not for the weak-hearted. A "keeper at home" (Titus 2:5) is indeed at home, but she is laboring longer than 40 hours per week! One will not find dust balls around the perimeters of her rooms as big as rodents! In her house, you will not find cobwebs that are life-threatening, nor will you find green hairy things growing in her refrigerator. She is not popping chocolates and watching television. She is laboring tirelessly, indefatigably for her household. She does not "go to bed," she falls into bed, and must add a list of unaccomplished chores to tomorrow’s already long list.

Her unending toil, her ceaseless character training and mothering of her children do not add to her popularity in this world, but they will in the next. Her husband and her children rise up and bless her and praise her, as they realize the rare and precious jewel she is.

Many young women know how to look gaudy, provocative and alluring, but have not any idea of how to be a Godly wife and mother! You may catch the eye of a man with your seductive ways, but what have you accomplished? A Neanderthal Esau will be attracted to your body, but a Godly Boaz will be attracted to your character: "the King’s daughter is all glorious within" (Psalm 45:13).

Learn domestic skills instead of how to more artistically paint your face! Learn to be a servant instead of how to compete and be brash and bold. Your fulfillment and contentment will not be found in voyeuristic reading of romance novels, carving out a niche for yourself in the world of business, or squeezing into even tighter clothing. It will be found in being a Godly wife and mother!




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